 | ashin |
| | | I'm currently outside for grocery shopping, sitting down, staring while thinking about my last two matches. Yes, I did do a mental dump in chat but I realize I'm still thinking, and have no wish to dominate the conversation as I seem to do way too much. Hence, I shall do a more complete rant here...at best I can, given that I'm on my phone.
FIRST MATCH
Imagine you see someone hovering over mid. Someone instantly locks Ember Spirit and locks safe lane, okay. Then next round pick comes, and suddenly someone else goes "me mid pls, pls", and insta-locks Shadow Fiend. The original mid blocker goes "wtf". THEN he picks Anti Mage. Now they start demanding for both a stunner and a support. In response, I pick Jakiro. Last guy has been silent. He goes past 30s, starts to lose gold, and still doesn't pick. Whole team goes wtf pick, pick, pick. He randoms a fucking SNIPER.
As if it weren't bad enough, he disconnects immediately straight after. Actually, that's not the worst part. The worst part is that he actually reconnected. FUCK!
Why does that matter? In ranked mm, if anyone abandons before first blood, no stats would be counted and the game would be safe to leave. From negative minute 1, our team came to a consensus that we hate one another and can't wait to quit. We all know the draft fucking sucks. And so, we prayed very hard that Sniper wouldn't reconnect.
BUT NO! The enemy paused for MY team, and threatened to report my team's SF for unpausing. THE WORLD HAS CHANGED. ENEMY TEAM HELPING YOU TO PAUSE WTF. In the end, Shitper came back when he had 2mins left.
Then, this fucking SF, who kept telling us Pudge is missing, or not to feed first blood, proceeded to feed first blood, and then a second and a third. And he said, warded. HELLO, getting hooked happens sometimes, but if you are consistently getting hooked then that's something fucking WRONG with your positioning!!!
Lo and behold, even after I lit up the whole fucking place with wards, he STILL managed to DIE. In fact, at one point, I pinged fucking furiously at a spot and he took like THREE MASSIVE FUCKING SECONDS to finally start leaving. And guess what he said! "Warded"
ARE YOU FREAKING KIDDING ME!
And he asked, can't you buy sentries? I started exploding. You think wards are free? You think gold comes from the sky? I bought out all wards, got no farm, have only 100G and you want me to buy SENTRIES?
Speaking of no farm, Ember complained and asked me to get out of lane, since I am of no help. I said goodbye and started pulling. Then he fought with me for neutral creep farm. Asked him to fuck off but he stuck around. I forgot what we laned against aside from a Clinkz actually. I helped him deny creeps he didn't even deny, but okay. Okay.
Then AM dies bottom lane and cries, no one help me. Well! When he complained about mid getting snatched and complained about 4 cores, and I called out on him for picking AM after Ember and SF were picked, he told me to kiss his ass. Oh yeah? Fucking perish in your FUCKING LANE.
The arguments blew up in all chat from the start. So I said (I'm dire), "If my team wins this, I'm going to feel sad for Radiant." The WR replied, "It's brave to think of what ifs, but braver to accept what is." Actually, I think she doesn't fucking understand what it really means and grossly misused it but okay, whatever. (I thought my comment was super indicative of how much I already accepted the incoming loss? ...)
But eventually game went from fucking bad to fucking impossible and my teammates started flaming SF, who at one point seemed to sincerely ask, "Why me?" The flaming got so bad among my team, I flamed ALL of them, narrating the entire fuckery from drafting phase to current stage.
So, WR finally seemed to understand what I was trying to say, and said, "Must be hell there."
YES IT IS.
I flamed everyone on my team so hard, Sniper suddenly called me. And I asked, "Yes Sniper? I'm waiting for clever lines from you."
NOTHING HAPPENED!
The best part is how it ended up as me flaming everyone and no one actually being able to counter argue because IT IS ALL TRUE.
I also like the silence after I typed, ALL OF YOU ARE SELFISH LITTLE FUCKS.
So gg go next.
Side note: Also, some notable conversations. Enemy team paused because they sensed that this was EZ MMR and didn't want to have this match go as not counted. When Sniper reconnected and SF fed first blood, enemy team was like okay you can DC now. Fuck this. Then enemy team was happily joining the "noob SF" train. At some point the SF actually said, you guys are lucky. I was like, yeah, lucky because don't have us as teammates. At which WR said, "Yah, lucky don't have SF on our team." ...
[EDIT 2] HEY LOOK, REPLAY PARSED!!! Here's the chat log. (As far as I know, chat logs are often bugged on these statistics site, so some parts may be missed out. Also, I typed in team chat rather than all chat for some flames, sadly.)
The holy chat log
SECOND MATCH
Actually I'm so lazy to continue typing so I post up to here for now!
[EDIT]
Wow, I actually wrote quite long on the phone. AMAZING.
So, second match. Enemy team picked the usual trash picks of Pudge, Phantom Assassin and Luna. Their support pick came out as Rubick, and the draft ended off with Juggernaut. My team felt threatened. They wanted ME to pick hard carry, but I was thinking of playing support, and right as the last player typed, I picked Dazzle. He was intending to play support BH, and so when everyone saw my pick, they said, Zzzz why, why you pick Dazzle, gg wtf. I was like, I picked BEFORE I saw his message, please man. My team was Ursa, Abaddon, and Invoker. Considering the enemy lineup, I was thinking that Dazzle is not so bad, since Dazzle's ult increases armor, and the enemy's carries do depend on a considerable about of right clicks, so the armor increase would fit right in. Plus, it's NEVER a bad thing to have extra heals to go around, and a Shallow Grave to frustrate PA.
Game starts. Wow, Rubick in my lane kept feeding us. The Invoker on my team had pretty good movements, and quite a few times he saved me. Then my team wasn't stupid and was generally better at reading opportunities, and so the game steamrolled to oblivion until my teammates had to spice things up by feeding in the enemy fountain.
Best moment: I was hooked into fountain, I shallow graved myself, Invoker forcestaffs me out of the fountain into the trees and I TPed out with 1 HP. HAHAHAHAHA.
The Moment In Question
Therefore, -25, +25. L I T E R A L L Y N O T H I N G
Edited by ashin - 3/12/2015, 21:01 |
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Paper Box 
